Purple,
Imagining you on a card;
Making someone ecstatic !

And then I printed it as a greeting card.

I was between her legs, and it was the first time with her. I was petrified. Things started moving and slowly we got into a rhythm. So many thoughts were going through my mind and I wasn’t sure what I should be doing. Should I go faster or slower? Should I be talking to her or should I just focus on the movement and keep my pace?

All these thoughts were going through my mind; we reached our destination and she got down from the back of my bike…

Recently fear has gotten to me…

1. I fear that I will make mistakes when I do things.
2. I fear that it won’t be good enough.
3. I fear the learning curve will be huge to try something new.
4. I fear that my app ideas suck big time.
5. I fear that I won’t be building anything of value.
6. I fear that opening up to someone will make me vulnerable.
7. I fear that i won’t learn from my mistakes and keep repeating the same.
8. I fear that I worry about past, present and future and let that moment pass.
9. I fear that I won’t finish anything I have started.
10. I fear that I won’t start anything I ever wanted to start.
11. I fear that I won’t be writing anything tomorrow.

“Do one thing every day that scares you.” ― Eleanor Roosevelt

On a closing note, I just read Confessions of a PM: 7 Ways to Disarm the Impostor Syndrome by Bo (@bosefina). I recommend that you read that too…

I had struggled with two assignments in the last weeks and I was thinking why this happened to me. It’s not that the assignments were tough or required out of the box solutions. The first assignment required a design solution and the second one required a technology one.

What happened was for both of these assignments, the managers had “suggested” me what had to be done with the assignment. That was the trap and I made the mistake of not looking outside their suggested solutions. That totally boxed me in. For the first design solution, I did a few revisions and finally went with what I would have done in the first place if there was no “suggestion” from the manager.

For the technology assignment, I tried the method the manager had suggested and it didn’t work and I was stuck. I didn’t think it out of the box and finally i wasn’t able to deliver it. So in the end someone else did it and it turned out to be so simple and I had been doing the same thing for years but it didn’t strike me. At all!.

I can’t blame my managers for this, they were just trying to help. Well since the lessons are learnt the hard way, I think it’s better not to take solutions when it’s handed in a platter, rather think how you will problem solve it yourself and if that is not really working; then may be go with the “suggested” solution. I need to keep this in mind when I am assigning things to people also.

Let there be no box, so that you think “out of the box” all the time…