The Problem with Better Halves

Nobody is perfect. You are imperfect and you always will be in some aspect or the other; we should celebrate that. You are uniquely you and it is your USP.

There are no better halves. People are not half, they are whole people with their imperfections even. Accept them for who they are before you make them your life partners. Also, don’t look for all your needs in one person. There is a physical limit to which one person can fulfil and enrich someone else’s life.

We are all looking for intellectual, emotional, romantic, sexual, experiential and spiritual stimulation and connection. Understand each other and their love languages. And love (unconditionally – that is for another day); the more you give, the more you receive. If you aren’t receiving enough; then you might not be with the right person…

Photo by Tania Melnyczuk on Unsplash

No, you can’t skip to the good parts

It’s 2021 and there is this insane urge for instant gratification as always. Sadly, real life isn’t like that; all good things in life need time and hard work. Unless you are super freaking rich; then all bets are off. But for commoners like us, you can’t skip to the good parts. 

Life as we know it has a series of moments where we feel like we are in hell. Be it a major breakup or losing a job or losing someone in your life; you cannot skip through the pain and come out on the other side where it’s shining and has rainbows. So what do we do in that situation? You persevere and push yourself through it; talk to your friends; talk to a therapist; work on yourself; heal and make yourself ready and worthy of everything that is to come. 

It is a matter of time and the good parts will come to you, then maybe make that reel you know, for validation!

#loverefurbished #love #relationships #breakup #selfhealing #breakups #nijuvenate #journaljourneys

Photo by Paloma A. on Unsplash

Grieving your breakup

You must grieve your breakups, space it out before you try to jump back in for the heck of it. Depending upon how important and valuable the relationship was; the period of mourning varies.

Everyone has to go through some or all of these stages of grief: denial, guilt, bargain, depression, coming back up, working through, acceptance.

Find what works for you; have some good crying sessions, listen to sad music, talk to your close friends, talk to your therapist, do some journaling – whatever helps you to grieve your loss. It is a loss, mind it! It will start to hurt a little less tomorrow and the day after and the day after. Some day you will work through it and forget about the pain.

Give yourself time. Grieve your loss. Also, pursue new potential interests when you have done self-work and healed. Otherwise, it’s not fair to the new person.

Now, back at it you crazy lover! I am rooting for you…

 

Featured Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Attention currency

yellow clip signToday, the data is worth more than oil. Your data is created from all the attention you give on all the apps. Your likes, comments and interactions are data points logged against you. So is the time you are spending on friends and relationships you are pursuing. 2020 is just here. Your attention is the most valuable currency. So don’t waste it. Make it count, every single second of it. Your attention is worth any half-ass attempt from anyone who doesn’t value you. Look at reciprocation in action, not in their words. Look for being who has been there unconditionally, every single time. Talking anyone can do, but walking the talk is where people fall short… #attentioncurrency #30daywritingchallenge #writingmonth #writerstag #soulwork #spilledink #poetrycommunity #inspirationalquotes #empowerment #selfimprovement #selfcare #psychology #loveyourself #resilience #bodyintelligence #emotionalintelligence #quotes #mindfulness #motivation #inspiration #amwriting #writersofig #writersofinstagram #writing

Photo by Justin Chrn on Unsplash

Start Now!

Photo by Mikito Tateisi on Unsplash
You would always want to start doing new habits or resuming the ones you always wanted to. Like working out, reading more books, quit smoking etc. Maybe some of those ‘new year new me’ bullshit which never gets attended to. The problem is you put it aside for the next hour, next day, next week, next month or the next year. Trust me, that doesn’t work. Habits won’t form like that. You have to start now. If you can’t start now, don’t fool yourself by thinking about it. You might as well forget about it. Count down 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 take a deep breath and start right now. Good luck!

Niju Jaya Mohan

Be Nice to Everyone

Photo by STEPHEN POORE on Unsplash

They say it doesn’t cost anything to be nice to everyone. Fuck that shit. It costs your own sanity to be nice to everyone. We don’t want that, do we? But it would be such a shame if we let the world’s bitterness change us. Be nice to only the people you want to. Chose them wisely. No matter what is happening, push through and come out of the other end with a smile. You are a warrior, not a worrier. You got this, today and every day…

Niju Jaya Mohan

Photo by Anthony Martino on Unsplash

You have to let go of things and people. There is a finite number of those you can hold in your life. So choose them wisely. Trust me, you have to fight demons; your own and the ones the world forces on you. So choose them wisely what you want to fight. If you need a rule of thumb, here is one for you that always worked for me. If it doesn’t matter in five years, don’t hold on to it, don’t fight it, don’t be upset about it for more than five minutes. You heard me, five minutes. Then bounce back and don’t give up on yourself…

​Niju Jaya Mohan

Chances are fifty-fifty!

For something to happen in your life, the chances are fifty-fifty. Mathematically if you look at the probability, there will be so many factors to consider; but indulge me for a second and go with fifty-fifty. Finding the life partner who gets you instantly, writing that novel you always wanted to write, going on that foreign trip, finding that dream job, creating that masterpiece you always wanted to; whatever it may be. There is a fifty percent chance that you will make it. So for something with that high chance are you putting in enough time and effort? Pause for a second and ask yourself. If not, change that now! Universe has a way of making sure what you are seeking is seeking you. So go, do your part…

Niju Jaya Mohan

Photo by Holger Link on Unsplash